


This universe runs on happy faces

by resonance_and_d



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Axel-centric, Human manifestation of Kingdom Hearts, M/M, Temporary Character Death, happy endings all around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 10:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7798666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resonance_and_d/pseuds/resonance_and_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with the final battle against Xehanort. It ends with Axel, in love with the world. (And the world loves him back)</p>
<p>Or: Ven is Roxas is Sora, and he always comes back to Axel in the end no matter what he's called.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This universe runs on happy faces

Axel loves Sora not just for what he is, but for what has been, what he could be, and what he will be in the future.

Ventus, Roxas, Sora- they're all just different names for the same person, in Axel's book. The names change, the memories change, but there's something fundamental that is always the same. Call it a heart, call it a soul- that person is the one Axel loves.

He thinks, sometimes, that he may have fallen in love with something abstract, not quite a person, but an idea. (The idea of someone who always comes back, someone who may change but who will always love Axel- even without consciously knowing who Axel _is_ sometimes. The idea of someone who has him memorized.)

They're going to fight Xehanort for the last time, tonight. Any minute, now. If they can get there in time. And if Axel's confident in anything, it's that Sora will survive the battle, even if he doesn't know Axel, somehow, after. If he's not Sora anymore, it will be up to Axel to find him again, is all. Sora changes, and Axel... doesn't. That's their story. That's how it goes, every time.

That is, if they _make_ it to the battle before Kingdom Hearts finishes manifesting. It's hanging in the sky in front of them, huge and luminous, too bright to see the stars behind it. And Sora has stopped.

"I understand now," Sora says, in a solemn, resigned way that reminds kind of breaks Axel's heart.

"Know what?"

Sora shakes his head. "I'm not sure I can explain."

He looks up at Kingdom Hearts. It's close to finished forming. They don't have much time.

Sora says, "Axel?" He turns back to look at Axel once more, but doesn't keep walking.

"Yeah?"

"Xehanort won't win," Sora says firmly. "Because- listen, Kingdom Hearts isn't only light, but it's mostly light. And he can't control it."

He's speaking in a rush, clearly trying to get out the words before- before what?

"This is coming out wrong," Sora says. "It doesn't matter if Kingdom Hearts is light or dark. Kingdom Hearts is _connected_ \- it's nothing _but_ connections- and he doesn't have any. He's not part of it, and it won't listen to him."

"You're talking like it's alive," Axel says. "Sora, I don't understand-"

Sora kisses him.

"Kingdom Hearts is connected to everyone I love," he says, after " _and so am I._ "

Axel sort of gets it then. Maybe.

Sora gives him a grin, the sort of stupid smile that says he is about to do something stupid. In the sky behind him, the moon that is Kingdom Hearts hangs heavy in air.

The change, a second later is anticlimactic. One moment, Sora is there. Axel blinks, and he's gone. The moon is complete.

A few minutes later, Riku swoops down out of the sky on a keyblade glider and grabs Axel.

"Where's Sora?" Kairi asks, close behind, as Axel struggles to stand up on the back of the glider without falling.

"He disappeared," Axel says, which is both one hundred percent accurate and one hundred percent useless. He isn't sure he knows what else to say.

"Great," Riku mutters, eyes still pointing ahead, fixed on the moon. "Perfect timing, Sora."

"He'll be there," Axel says. That part's kind of a lie- if what he suspects is true, Sora has already made it.

"I hope you're right," Riku says.

It takes long tense moments to get to the mesa where Xehanort is. But he hasn't achieved dominance over the entire universe. He's just- pacing, looking angry. He doesn't even have his keyblade out.

He is alone.

"You," Xehanort says, once they land. Axel hops off the glider and stares at the moon, which is huge this close.

Kairi and Riku already have keyblades drawn. Axel's is in his hand only a second later.

"What have you done to Kingdom Hearts?" Xehanort demands.

Kairi and Riku are confused, but Axel grins.

"Kingdom Hearts isn't up for grabs," he says, moving his keyblade to his other hand and doing a quick warm-up stretch. "Turns out just having it appear in the sky isn't enough to control it. Who'd have thought, huh?"

Riku looks really frustrated, probably because Axel isn't telling him everything. This is a common look on Riku, one that Axel quite enjoys.

"Anyway," Axel says. "I guess we should still kick your ass. We can take care of the planetoid up there after that. Having a huge moon in the sky can't be good long-term. Think of how that's going to affect tidal patterns here." He looks around at the desert of the keyblade graveyard. "I mean, I guess this is no Atlantica, but there's bound to be water somewhere. The sooner we can get that thing back where it belongs, the better."

He thinks for a moment. "Then again, maybe it doesn't have actual mass to pull tides? I guess it's kind of a metaph-"

Xehanort's keyblade comes at them from behind, while he's still glowering. There's an assault of other keyblades, too, as the keyblades of many long-dead masters rush towards them.

They can't deflect them all, and none of them are any good at healing. Donald isn't around, and Sora is... Axel doesn't even know. Doing his thing. The few potions they have are cumbersome to use and gone within moments.

None of them have so much as grazed Xehanort.

The three of them end up standing in a defensive formation, backs close together, defending themselves as well as they can from the relentless pounding of thousands of keyblades.

Axel isn't sure how they're going to get out of this alive. It's only a matter of time before they are completely overwhelmed.

And then the sky goes dark.

The lucky thing is that this distracts Xehanort just as much as it does them. The few keyblades still in motion hit them hard, but then the rush stops.

They all look up.

Kingdom Hearts is gone. They can see the stars again.

"What..." Xehanort starts to say.

And then a familiar keyblade flies through the air and hits him in the back of the head.

Sora steps into view.

He doesn't look different, not on the surface. He's wearing something new- a new drive form, maybe? For someone who technically wears the same clothes all the time he has a lot of outfits- but he's still Sora. But something's off.

"About time!" Riku calls out.

Sora looks at him, and Axel realizes- Sora isn't smiling. Sora always smiles when he sees his friends, like all his worries drop away for a moment.

He doesn't look like that now.

Xehanort tries to stand. Sora raises his keyblade again, and the others follow suit. Sometime in the past few moments, their wounds have all disappeared. Axel didn't notice Sora using a healing spell, but he must have.

Xehanort says, "What have you done with Kingdom Hearts? I know it was you, Sora." He staggers to his feet.

Sora just says, "It's not too late. Even for you. Isn't there a single person you care about? Someone who you'd be sad if you lost?"

Xehanort's face contorts. "Friendship, again? Bonds? Those are for fools. You say friendship is power. That's a lie, something to tell children. Friendship is weakness."

Sora looks a little sad. He doesn't make any move to attack, though. "You're wrong," he says, firmly.

Around them all, the keyblades on the ground start to shiver again as Xehanort takes control of them.

"If you attack my friends-" Sora says, "If you attack _anyone_ \- you're going to regret it."

The keyblades rise high above them, but Sora doesn't look worried. He looks- angry.

The keyblades fall. Axel watches them, ready to fend off the ones above his head, but as it falls it moves sideways, away from him.

None of them are going straight down. They seem to be hitting some sort of barrier, something funnel-shaped that redirects them. They're all headed for Xehanort.

He seems to realize this too, but it's too late.

In a flash of light, Xehanort is gone.

Axel's vision is filled with spots for a moment. Through them, he sees Sora sway.

He's closest, so it's him that catches Sora a few seconds later.

He's still blinking away spots when Sora says, "I didn't realize it would be so hard to come back."

Axel says, "Are you okay?"

Sora takes a deep breath. He is heavy in Axel's arms.

"Kingdom Hearts does have mass," Sora says, after a moment. "Just so you know. But only when it wants to."

Axel says, "Are you going back?" He doesn't try to hide the desperation he puts into that question. He doesn't want Sora to leave. He isn't sure where Sora even went, but if Sora leaves- he's going with.

Sora is quiet for another long moment. "I didn't just _go_ to Kingdom Hearts. You know that, right?"

Riku and Kairi look at Axel. They are a picture of confusion. Normally he'd be enjoying that. He'd feel smug. It's less fun from the other end.

"Kinda figured you'd... figured out how to control it, somehow," Axel says, carefully.

"That was the idea," Sora says. "It didn't quite work out that way."

He is losing weight, losing substance, in Axel's arms. That's probably a bad sign, even if Axel isn't sure what it means.

"Where did Kingdom Hearts go, anyway?" Kairi asks. "It disappeared right when you got here, Sora. Did you banish it somehow? So that Xehanort couldn't get it?"

Sora laughs, and Axel plants a stupid number of kisses on his face. He sort of manages to aim for Sora's mouth, and then Sora kisses him back- involving a lot more mouth and tongue- and it takes a long time before either of them is ready to talk at all.

"Maybe you should rest," Axel tells Sora. "There's time enough to explain everything. All the time in the world, right?"

Sora thinks for a minute. "Exactly right," he says. He smiles. Axel helps him to his feet so that he can walk to the Gummi ship, and then remembers that the Gummi ship was destroyed when they crash-landed here for their final battle.

None of them had been too concerned about that at the time- they'd had other things to think about.

"We'll pitch a tent," Riku says. Axel, take care of Sora. Kairi and I will make camp. We've got hours til sunrise, we can get at least a little sleep before we figure out how to get out of here in the morning."

Sora says, quietly, "I just want to go home."

Riku says, "You're not in any shape to be traveling on a glider. You look like you can barely stand up."

Sora says, "I'm not gonna sleep right now, you know."

"You look pretty beat," Axel points out. "You need to lie down."

Sora shakes his head, leans against Axel. "Not yet." There's something pleading in his expression. He's afraid, and Axel doesn't know what of, and that's terrifying.

Kairi and Riku pick up on it, too. The three of them share a glance, but they all come to the same conclusion pretty fast: When Sora doesn't want to talk, Sora won't talk, and pressing the issue isn't going to do any good.

Riku and Kairi set up the tent anyway. Axel sits down, with Sora sitting next to him. Leaning on him. He's staring off into space a bit, and then he refocuses and says, "I need you to talk to me. To distract me."

"Sure," Axel says. He says, "Do you know why the sun sets red?"

Sora says, "'Because red is the color that travels the farthest.' You told me that before. It doesn't actually work that way, you know."

Axel frowns. "What?"

"Light. It's not about which one can make it farther. It's about... wavelength. How air absorbs some colors and not others. Stuff like that."

That is not what Axel was questioning. But he'll take it. "Same thing," he says, to which Sora snorts. "How would you know, anyway. I bet you've never taken a physics class. You haven't been to school since you were, what, thirteen?"

Sora shrugs. "Common knowledge," he says. He frowns uncertainly. "It is, right?"

Axel says, "Are you okay?"

Sora is breathing funny. He doesn't respond right away. Then he says, "Ventus knew about physics. He had classes. Not just about keyblades. Master Eraqus wanted me- wanted him to know other things, too. Because keyblades should be a choice, not something you're forced into."

Axel says, "You're remembering things. That's new, right?"

Sora just looks lost and confused. Axel holds him for a bit.

"I thought he was gone," Sora says, after a while. "Aqua said his heart was part of mine. She said he was as good as dead- she gave up on me- on him-"

Axel does not ask the question that he aches to ask. But Sora answers it anyway. "I remember being Roxas, too."

Axel says, "I would love you even if you never remembered. It- it matters- I'm not saying it's nothing- but. You know that, right?"

Sora nods against Axel's side. "I love you, too," he says. And then "It's why I came back. I'm selfish."

Axel tries not to show alarm at that. "What?"

"I thought I'd just control Kingdom Hearts," Sora says. "I thought I'd be connected to it, the way I'm connected to all my friends. When I did what I did. I thought I'd buy us time. But it was more than that. I wasn't just me, Axel. You can't connect to... to everything, without becoming part of it."

Axel is quiet. Sora's weight against his side seems very light suddenly. Without thinking about it, he holds on tighter. A moment passes, and Sora sinks down against him once more, heavy again.

"I'm trying to be just Sora again," Sora says. "But things keep leaking in. And- I can't sleep, Axel, I'm barely holding on as it is. It's hard to be human again, and if I stop trying for even a second I'm afraid I'll lose it. I'll lose myself."

Axel doesn't know what to say.

"I loved you all the way back when I was Roxas," Sora says. Axel hates the way he's rushing. "I was afraid to say it then. I didn't know what that feeling was. I didn't know if it _was_ a feeling."

Axel's eyes burn.

"I didn't know you well enough as Ventus," Sora continues, still rushing. "You were my friend, and that's what I was sure about, but if I'd had more time-"

"Stop," Axel manages.

Sora does. "Sorry," he says.

Riku and Kairi are done pitching the tent. They're sitting a little distance away, murmuring to each other.

"You're gonna tell them, right?" Axel asks.

"Of course," Sora says. "In a minute. I'm not-I'm not going anywhere yet. I can keep it up a little longer before I..."

He doesn't finish that sentence.

The goodbyes, a little later, are brief. Kairi cries. Riku looks stunned and overwhelmed. They hug Sora.

"See you in the next life," Sora says. He is completely insubstantial. He weighs barely more than air.

"Yeah," Axel chokes out, though he's pretty sure that there is no next life, this time. Sora has already had so many.

The worst part is the split second of expression Axel can see as Sora fades away in his arms. He doesn't look sad. He just looks _relieved_.

Axel was wrong- Sora didn't survive the final battle. He should have known their luck would run out. Axel had already had too many chances, and messed up every one.

* * *

They make it back to the islands the next morning. None of them had felt like traveling that night. Axel is pretty sure none of them got a good night's sleep, but at least they hadn't had to make the journey at night.

And now- Destiny Islands. Axel doesn't know why he's here. He'd had plans with Sora, here. But Sora is gone.

Axel ends up staying on the small island while Riku and Kairi go home. He doesn't have anywhere to go. He'll find a place to stay later, but for now he needs a little space. Some alone time.

(He doesn't need alone time- he needs _Sora_ \- but that isn't going to happen again. Sora is _gone_.)

Axel hits a coconut tree with his keyblade and narrowly avoids the coconut that tries to brain him when it falls. He hits the tree again, and again, leaving gashes in the trunk and littering the ground around him with coconuts.

"You're gonna hurt yourself if you keep doing that," a voice says behind Axel. "Those things are heavy, you know."

Axel turns. "Sora?" he says. He isn't sure he believes what he's seeing.

Sora looks away. "I can't be just Sora anymore. Not for very long. Everything is all jumbled up. I've never been good at untangling myself. There's always leaks. I'm not the same person I was."

"You don't have to be the same person forever," Axel says. "If you're more than just Sora- that's okay. I'm used to it by now. Every time you disappear you end up... more."

"It's not that simple!" Sora says. "It's not just Roxas, or Ventus. I have the whole universe in my head." But even though his tone is unconvinced, there's hope in his eyes.

"You've always been the whole universe to me," Axel blurts out, and then feels himself turn beet red.

Sora looks at him for a second and bursts out laughing. "You had to say it," he says.

Axel says, "How long can you stay?"

Sora says, "I'm kind of everywhere, all the time. So really, you could say I never left."

"That's not a real answer."

"If I tried to be just Sora," Sora says, "I could only manage a minute or two."

"Well, that's stupid. Don't do that." A minute or two would never be enough.

Sora looks unsure. Like, whatever he'd expected, that wasn't it. "As long as I want, then, I guess."

Axel feels like there has to be a catch. "Really?"

Sora smiles, a little more certain now. "Yeah. Really. No time limit."

Axel is aware that Kairi and Riku will want to see Sora, too. There are probably dozens or hundreds of others that will want to know he's not gone forever, too. But that can be later.

They move out from under the coconut trees and sit on the beach. Axel takes off his shoes. Sora doesn't seem to be wearing any, though Axel is pretty sure he was a minute ago.

(Kingdom Hearts has mass, if it wants to. Kingdom Hearts apparently has _shoes_ only if he wants to, too.)

Sora isn't content to sit still for long. He sits with Axel for a couple minutes, and then they end up walking barefoot along the shore. Sora digs his toes into the damp sand, laughs when the waves wash over their feet, cool and soothing.

It is not the first time Axel has realized that Sora is beautiful. But he knows the drill by now. Every time is new. Ventus had been... well, pretty. Innocent. Soft, gentle looking. (He'd been strong underneath.) Roxas had been broken and brilliant like shattered glass (and a total dork- Axel had loved him both ways). Sora was the kind of strong that supported instead of crushed, and honestly by that point it hadn't mattered to Axel what he looked like anyway. He'd seen the exterior, but that wasn't the most important part. Now-

It has just occurred to Axel that he is walking with a literal personification of the universe. This is the closest thing to an actual god he will ever meet, very likely the closest thing to a god that exists. And while Axel's never put much stock in religion, it seems like maybe he should be more reverent or something.

Then he thinks, if he loves Sora, and Sora is the universe, that makes Axel like some sort of monk or something, doesn't it? Isn't that what monks do- try to learn to love the whole wide world, or something?

"You look too serious," Sora says. And he looks worried. "You're sure this is okay? You're not weirded out?"

Sora is worried about what Axel thinks.

The universe is concerned about his opinion.

The situation is absurd.

Sora looks so damnably worried, though, so Axel kisses him. It's impulsive. Maybe it's dumb, he doesn't know. Maybe the universe doesn't like him like that. Maybe the universe just wants to be friends now, no matter how much the universe looks like his boyfriend right now.

Sora kisses back slowly. Okay, good. Axel hadn't made an unwanted move. He bites Axel's bottom lip gently. He acts like they have all the time in the world. And Axel guesses they do- no more Xehanort. No more danger.

"Love you," Sora says.

"Love you too," Axel says.

They stand together for some time. And then Sora says, "I should probably go tell Kairi and Riku I'm back. And my mom- what did they tell her?"

"We just got back a couple hours ago," Axel points out. "They may not have told her anything yet. But yeah, go tell her you're okay. I'll meet you... somewhere. I'm sure you can find me, right?"

Sora nods, squeezes Axel's hand, and vanishes into thin air before Axel can say anything else.

This is going to take a bit of getting used to, Axel muses, as he wanders back to town from the beach, shoes in hand. But for now, there's a grin on his face, the grin of someone who is stupidly in love and knows he is loved in return.

Axel is in love with the world, and the world loves him back.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Kingdom Hearts Worlds Connected 2016
> 
> I had this concept floating around for a long time without a story attached to it- The idea that Sora IS (or could become) Kingdom Hearts itself. It almost makes sense to me in canon as a way Xehanort might be defeated, but I'm sure it won't happen this way.
> 
> Some notes on stuff that didn't quite make it into this but which I thought were fun:
> 
> 1\. Aqua and Terra are alive and well! Sora will visit them at some point, possibly looking like Ventus (Why not, it's not like he's that attached to his physical form anymore). It wasn't as urgent that he see them right away since they had been convinced he was dead for some time. Riku and Kairi'd had less than a day
> 
> 2\. When Axel finally dies of old age much much later, his heart becomes part of Kingdom Hearts. Maybe he sticks around after that, like Sora does, and they keep each other company. Maybe Sora eventually fades into Kingdom Hearts as well, once all his friends have passed, and they're together that way.
> 
> 3\. In either case, in ANY case, Sora's presence tilts the balance of the universe towards love (not light, exactly, but love) permanently. There's never another Xehanort- never another superpowered villain like that. Why would there be? Even the dark corners of the universe are friendly these days. (You may not believe in Sora if you've never met him, but Sora believes in you.)


End file.
